Sunday, June 17, 2007

What I hate the most

I am so pissed. I am going to just come here to vent. This blog doesn’t talk back. LOL if it did I would go crazy. Even more then I am now. Here goes I am very sensitive about my weight. So I am trying the best I can to loose some. But as you can tell it is very hard. So I took my father out to eat for father’s day. And I ordered food, and only eat the soup. I had a lot to eat today so I did not eat anymore. I took it home for tomorrow. So its not like I am not eating. I am just trying to loose the weight that I have. I am cutting down on what I eat. So before we left he came to me and told me something that took everything I had not to go postal. He looked at a sign made a comment.

“Matt look there’s Seattle Sutton healthy eating. You know u need to loose weight.” So I looked at him and asked if he was calling me FAT and he told me “YES I AM”

I am go glade he told me i was fat. I never knew that. its not like I look down, and asked why am I so big? I dont need someone telling that I am fat. This is all Bull shit that he would make the comment. It’s bad when I go a restaurants and I can’t fit into a both. It also hurt when you go to like Wal-Mart, Coles, Old Navy, and they don’t have anything in your size and they look at you like you are some sick person for asking if they did. I go to thrift stores a lot. I don’t like paying a lot for cloths. I go there and they don’t care anything my size. It’s not like I want something big, just in like a 2X. I am not asking for stuff in like a 6X or even a 10X You turn on the TV and all they are talking about how fat America is. Stop talking about and help us loose weight. That would make us all feel better. My old boss the school principal Patricia Zeleznak would tell me a lot how fat I am. She told me to keep my job at the school I would have to work out 3 times a week and show her paper worker telling her I went to the Gym. I told her that if that was true I was going to call my lawyer and taker her to court Then before that my boss Mike Clifton told me in fount of my coworker that I need to get on a bike and star working out because I was fat. You know as well as I do that I am, I don’t need others to keep making comments. It has come to me the next person to tell me I was fat will get smacked for it. (Not really, it makes me feel better when I think about it) My Doctor told me I only need to loose about 40 lbs. So it’s not like I need to loose 200lb. So why is everyone making big deal about me. It’s not like I being fat. I want the 6 pack abs and the rock hard chest. Well I ever have it no I never did not even as a kid. As a kid I was in Ritalin and it keep my metabolism us so high that I could eat 3 LG pizza’s and would not gain a pound. Now I look at a candy bar I gain like 6 pounds. I am tired of everyone looking at me like I want to be this way.


Stephen said...

Unfortunately Matt, a blog can talk back and this one does too.

I know how sensitive you are about your weight and how you hate being called fat.

Why do you think I try and get you to be more active whenever I am there. I want you to lose weight and I'll help but you need to help me help you.

Matthew said...

steven i keep trying to. Its about to come down to me starving myself. But this is not how i want to be. I am trying trying and trying.

Bethany said...


I know how you feel. I've been overweight most of my life. After Emeline was born, I was sick and tired of being heavy, and I finally buckled down and lost the weight. I lost 55 lbs in 5 months. It really was nice to let it all go. And it was so much easier than I thought that it would be.

I know it's wrong, but people treat you different when you are heavy and when you are thiner. They just do. I don't even know if they know that they do.

And people telling you that you need to loose weight doesn't help you to motivate yourself to loose weight. That has to come from inside. And it takes all of you to want to do it.

I'm so sorry that your dad hurt your feelings. I know that he loves you and is trying to help you. But it still hurts.

I, myself, am always on a diet, and know a lot about them. If you needed any help, menu's and such, let me know. I can make you up a "diet"....well, Brent calls them Nutrition Plans. Sounds much better :) Anyway, if you want.

Again, so sorry about everything. I know that it's not fun. Hope today is better :)

Megan said...

Well Matt, Believe me I agree with Bethany. Losing weight is hard. Ron is overweight and is bigger than you are, and yeah it is a pain in the ass to find clothes in his size. So i know what you mean. Not only that but I may not look too over weight but I am when most people my age weigh a hell of a lot less than me, and I too try to loose it and its not easy. I think since I have been here in inleT I bet I havent even lost 5 pounds yet and I walk atleast one way to or from work which is about a 15 minute walk but i guess that the soda doesnt help either. Good luck honey and try not to let it bother you, and just hold you head up high and let those snide little remarks go in one ear and out the other. Hope today went better without so many misleading comments.


Megan said...

you need to update your blogs for the past few days there sweetie. Love n miss ya.